The Accident

In mid September, the annual Miss America Pageant aired with all it's glitz and glamor. The girls had done an extra good job washing dishes, so mom said they could stay up a little later and watch it on the new color TV. Dad was late, and mom was holding his supper for him. Crystal could tell that she was angry about his tardiness by the way she made extra noise putting the dishes away. It was best to stay out of her way and just concentrate on the colorful contestants crossing the screen.

The contest was just starting when the door bell rang. To have a visitor after dark was unusual in this secluded neighborhood. Amy had the sense to remain invisible in the living room, but Crystal headed straight for the door. Standing on the front porch, hat in hand, was a uniformed police officer. He asked Crystal if her mother was at home. Before she could respond her mother appeared beside her and asked the officer what he wanted. The police man told her that it would be best if the children left the room so the two of them could talk in private. Obediently, Amy hustled off to the bedroom, but Crystal remained just out of sight hidden in the hallway off the kitchen. She caught only snippets of the conversation.

"Ma'am is there anyone you can call to stay with you and the kids?" The officer asked.

Why would mom want someone to come over and stay this late at night Crystal wondered.

He continued then. "We found a van over in the Billings Creek. Your husband......"

Crystal didn't completely understand. She heard her mother pick up the phone and try to dial out, but there was someone on the party line and they refused to free the line for her. Suddenly Crystal heard her mother scream into the phone. "For God sake! My husband is dead. Get off the phone!" Wrenching sobs tore through her as she made the call. So that was it, Crystal thought. Dad was dead and mom was crying. She'd never seen her mother cry before.

Once the call was completed, mom gathered the girls together and broke the news to them while the officer stood by waiting for a friend or relative to show up and relieve him of his less than desirable duties. Mom explained that dad had lost control of his work van and skidded off a bridge into a shallow creek. He'd been thrown through the windshield and had died instantly. Amy sobbed in moms arms while Crystal stood numbly beside the two of them. She thought about her dads face being all cut up and it scared her, but she wouldn't cry. He could never make her cry again.

The funeral was held a few days later, complete with weeping aunts and sympathetic friends and neighbors. Crystal felt oddly comfortable in the role of the grieving daughter. It was kind of exciting being the center of attention. A red veil was draped over the open casket to help hide the extent of her fathers facial injuries. Someone had stupidly ignored mom's wishes for a closed casket and the veil was a compromise of sorts. At one point an overwrought aunt had actually dragged poor Amy over to the coffin, insisting that she lift the veil and give her dad one last kiss goodbye. Crystal watched in horror until her mother intervened, rescuing poor Amy.

Mom would never really get over the loss of her husband. Somehow, Crystal knew this and accepted it. She had always been cold to the girls, but now she was literally dead to them. The only time she seemed to care was when Crystal had terrible dreams. She would wake up screaming " Dad! Dad!." in the middle of the night until mom would shake her awake. During these late night vigils her mom would whisper softly to her. "I know, Sweetie, I miss him too."

But Crystal didn't have the heart to tell her mom that missing dad had nothing to do with the bad dreams. Crystal's dreams were about him coming back and bringing with him the living nightmares of their previous life. For she knew, that if it weren't for the accident, sooner or later one of them would have died anyway. Quite frankly, she was glad it wasn't her.